Saturday, January 7, 2012

without pictures

I'll admit it.  I like the books with pictures.  
And sometimes when there aren't pictures, I have to pull out the big bowl of effort to get me through. 
Sometimes.  Not always.

But sometimes the most important things don't get a picture.  Like the little things that my kids do, like say, "Can I go get him?" when they hear Maximus wake up.  I can't get that in a pictures.  But it is precious and sweet and really makes me happy.  

Or how about the crappy things that happen?  Like when Samuel broke the door handle off the car 9 minutes after they handed over the keys.  There is no way I could have captured him flying backwards when the handle gave and the shocked look in his face when he saw the dangling handle.  But that event definitely makes it onto our funny story playlist. 

Some things just don't get a picture.

I have recently moved to a far away land where I did not know a soul.  Meeting people is actually really hard for me, and sometimes I wish I could just fast forward to the part where we are old friends and we can laugh and connect and help each other.  I have a tendency to re-evaluate everything I do or say.  And the evaluation doesn't come out so hot when it feels like my mind doesn't move as fast as the opportunities for my mouth to move come up.  More often than not, I walk away thinking, "I wish I would have said..." or even worse, "I wish I wouldn't have said... ."  I love new friends, don't get me wrong, but we meet new friends because we want them to become old friends, right?  I want to get past the try-outs and get to the part where I just am and where I can contribute. 

You know what I love?  Really really really love?  Is when I am with people that I feel so comfortable with that I don't have to worry about what I say.  I don't even have to use my mind.  My heart does most of the work. 

You know what's best about old friends?  They don't judge you because they KNOW you.  They know that when you say something really really idiotic, it doesn't mean you actually are an idiot.  

So, old friends.  As in, I met them two decades ago.  This trip the stars were aligned and we were able to get together more than I would have ever expected.  You see, together we take care of 19 kids, 6 households, school stuff, family stuff, work stuff, we are busy people.  The topics we covered in our little heart to hearts back then, sure have changed.  Topics of drivers licenses, prom, summer jobs, boyfriends, zits, and new outfits, have evolved into recipes, organization, health, kids' chores, dealing with kids' lying, nursing, and communicating with our spouses.  Sure, my insecurities of those younger days are gone.  But only to be replaced with new ones of today.  And somehow I was able to bring my heavy bag of worries to the table and I walked away with a clear mind and my load gone.  They helped me do that.  It's like they took my bag, pulled out each worry, addressed it, chucked it, and we laughed as it floated away.  

So, in the midst of celebrating the New Year, and playing games, and lunching, and driving, and dining, and doting over a new baby, and going to the temple, these people, effortlessly helped me.  No fakeys, no flattery, no insincerity.  And just thinking about it makes me kind of teary.  Because I feel so lucky to have that.  I feel so glad to have my load lighter.  I feel so grateful that tied in with the laughs, and food, and games, and celebrating, there was real stuff, heart stuff.

And that?  That doesn't get a picture, does it?  


IH-Texas said...

Thanks for being a page in my book. We love you and your little family. I feel love for your little ones even though we have not yet met.
hugs - Amie

Emily said...

So, between this post and the last post I'm kind of confused. Are you guys still in Hawaii? Is that still the faraway land? (Or I noticed that on your Christmas card you mentioned Mongolia???)

Kat Clark said...

I cried. I know today is a day full of crying but that touched the tender chord.

Kris Tina said...

I kind of loved this post. Kind of a lot.

jamie parker said...

Christina, I swear I am not stalking your blog...well, sort of:) Being new to town, and not having friends here...this is all I have to do...hahaha. It helps that I love blogs...good ones, like yours, that are authentic and warm...with humor and love:) I have to say, I totally relate to this post and it's exactly what I would say, if I could say things as eloquently...(this is truth, not flattery:) I sure miss my dear friends from Bend, OR...but I know there is a purpose for our life here in Kalaheo...and we are thankful and grateful beyond measure...and your post reminds me of that. xo


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