happy new year, happy new baby

I've had this blog post in my head for a long time now.  I do that, I have blog posts in my head.  Lot's of them.  

So maybe when we went to the movie Les Miserable and picked primo center seats, I didn't take into consideration that these days and for the next several months my bladder will have a 1 hour time limit.  And maybe some movies need an intermission.  And maybe I was so embarrassed that I had to walk in front of so many people to get out that I didn't dare return to my seat.  I just found an open aisle seat and finished the show all by my lonesome.  It's kind of fine, because I hate it when we are watching shows and Karl checks to see if I'm crying.  He's too amused.  I got to cry to my hearts content.   

We're kind of excited around these parts.  Baby number four is on it's way. 3 months down, 6 loooooooong months to go.  I say long because I am not one of those people that love being pregnant.  Don't even kind of like it a tiny bit.  It's kind of like a necessary evil means to an end.  I do my best to not appear miserable, but sometimes a complaint leaks out here or there.  I said to Karl, "What do I need to wear to church to make it so men give birth?"

Lack of blogging, lack of cleaning my house, kind of lack of moving in general... that's all because I kind of slept the first trimester away.  It seems to be the number one way my body copes.  With stress and with babies, I guess.  As far as nausea goes, I think I'm not supposed to complain.  It usually wasn't something that a light meal and a mega nap couldn't take care of.  

When we signed up for number three, we kind of signed up for number four.  Lot's of reasons why.  I feel like I need to explain.  Why do I feel that way?  It's like my heart knows there is no explanation needed but my head is begging for this craziness to make sense.  So, in no particular order of significance, I try to explain to my head (that is longing for order and consistency but knows it will never get it as long as it's a head in this family)...

My mom's mom was the youngest of four.  My mom was the youngest of four.  My dad was the youngest of four.  I am the youngest of four.  Who am I to break tradition?  Even Karl's mom had four. 

You want an even number when you go to Disneyland.  You wouldn't believe how many times I have heard this comment from people.  It's very very important.  So I've heard.  Oh, and if we bust out a six pack of soda at Disneyland, perfect, right?  Hehe.  I don't even like Disneyland so much.  Or soda.  But my family does, so I will put these things on my list of reasons.

Okay, have you met my kids?  Not to be braggy or anything but they are downright awesome people, and it is kind of my job to think they are awesome. Yes, I get grouchy with them.  But, really, I do realize how lucky I am that I get to be with them everyday.  Eva is love and beauty.  Samuel is excitement and tenderness.  Maximus is peace and happiness.  Oh, Maximus.  I have seen him interact with people and I swear he can leave a 70 year old man wishing he had a womb.  So, really, how could I resist?

Even though life has been crazy and we have definitely been takers this last year, we don't plan on being that way forever.  My dream is to have a whole (giant.  Four kids feels giant) family of contributors one day.  I want to teach my kids that there is a whole world out there in which they can make a difference.  Because that is what I believe.  We would have had this one earlier.  But then for a while it felt like Maximus' hurt hands were going to be our baby and I was going to have to learn to deal with it.  But what happened is that we learned to deal with Maximus' hands and we still wanted another.  

I think the biggest reason just got super apparent this holiday season.  We all congregated at my parents house for days on end and I can't tell you how content I felt.  It was so comfy and cozy and lot's of just being.  Even with lot's of seasonal sicknesses, inevitable messes that come with so many people in one place, and even some drama, the crowded house was the most comfortable place for me.  And though I know there are no guarantees that I will get my very own crowded house in the future, I can do my very best to enjoy my crowded house now.  

So, there are a few of my reasons.  Oh, and I am going to start doing my hair like Michelle Duggar.  Because we now have more in common with anyone else in on TV.  I feel like if I were to meet her in public, I could give her knuckles and say, "lot's of kids, Christian home school, natural birth, homemade cleaning products... that's right."  I also want to give knuckles to Jim Gaffigan.  The knuckles things is not literal, by the way.  I have never given knuckles and not felt like a poser doing so.  I fully lack that cool.  So, Jim.  He has lot's of kids, too.  And he's so funny and real about it.  If you haven't seen his whole Mr. Universe show on Netflix, you can at least watch this 7 min clip.  He explains my thoughts so beautifully.:

{The photo at the top of us being ecstatic (can you believe Samuel?  He is super human, I swear) was taken by this amazing blogger.  And while I had no energy to blog the last few of months, she did a little bit about our family.  She's got skills.  And speaking of skills and bloggers, my super sweet (so sweet, she helps me not miss home so much sometimes) and super talented friend included us in one of her posts, too}