so long, survival mode

Maybe it's a conversation starter.  Maybe it's because they genuinely want to know.  Maybe it's because we have an eight year old, a six year old, and a 4 month old.  But the first thing they ask is why we are in Kauai.  

Our answer is always a version of the same thing.  We sold our house, didn't know where to go next, thought Hawaii sounded like fun...

To some it makes perfect sense.  To some it doesn't make sense at all.

To be honest, some days it makes perfect sense to me.  And some days it doesn't make sense at all.

The days it makes sense go like this:

The view of the sunrise from the back porch, or lanai as they call it here, is breathtaking.  

Karl gets done with work (he starts and finishes earlier here since we are in a different time zone than most of his clients), we load up the car with boogie boards, swimsuits and towels, and a few snacks, and we pick the kids up from school at two.  They hop in and do their homework while we drive to the beach.  There we have a few hours of beach time.  The kids play in the sand, splash, boogie board, dig, run, all the things that kids love to do.  Baby and I sit on the blanket, sit on the chair, eat, nap, all the things that mommies and babies like to do.  Karl switches between activities.  When the sun goes down, we pack up, grab some dinner and head home.  Those are the days that I know that it makes so much sense that we moved here.

The days that it doesn't make sense go like this:

I wake up on the futon (not the couch kind, the real kind on the floor, because that is what we have chosen to sleep on until we figure out a more permanent living situation.  Moving mattresses is the biggest pain ever) and I get to choose from one of the few outfits that I am already sick of.  I spend the morning vacuuming ants and every crumb that could possible attract ants (one mass e-mail to everyone I know on the island about what I should do about unwanted creatures, one trip from Expert Exterminators and $175 later those are taken care of).  On top of that, I jump at anything that moves, there are a lot more creatures here in Kauai and I am afraid of most of them.  Then Maximus does something adorable and I start to feel sad that my family at home is missing it (sometimes taking a video and sending it helps).  Then I start missing my family.  Then I start wishing I could go to lunch with my friends that I miss.  Then the counselor from the school calls to let me know that Samuel got sent to the office again and while they ask me if I have gotten a local phone number yet.  I kind of didn't want to and they scold me and I feel like I am Samuel, in trouble by the school.  Then I start feeling like our minimalist ways are more like camping and I start resenting it and I start missing my stuff that we left behind.  Then I feel bad for resenting and missing.  And you know how when you get back from a family vacation, you are somehow exhausted?  

And, well, you get the picture.  Cry me a river (in paradise), I know.

The good thing is that things are starting to settle down.  I am getting more organized and silly necessities like registering our car, getting local drivers licenses, getting dishes, kitchen knives, and things like that have been taken care of.  

And that is why I say, "So long, survival mode!"

Maybe that's wishful thinking.  Maybe our chaotic, spontaneous ways will always keep me in survival mode.  But tonight, I am going to pretend like I planned all this out.  

We have had more family time than ever, the people here are seriously so so so nice, sunshine is so good for me, and Eva is adorable in her hula class.  Those are not words of someone in survival mode, now, are they?   And look, this is a real blog post, not from my phone.  Though easier and faster, a real post looks so much better and SOOO not survival mode...