Monday, June 4, 2012

baby maximus: stoic little fellow

This morning I was sitting in the waiting room while Maximus was getting his surgery.  A three year old boy came in with obvious scarring on his face and head and his hands were wrapped just like Maximus.  His left hand up to his wrist and his right hand all the way up his arm.  My natural self would look away, continue what I was doing as if I didn't notice, and then sit there pretending like I can think about anything else.  So dumb.  But I fought my natural self.  His mom was kind and answered my silly questions.  He was burned, like I thought.  And get this... it was by his dad.  After talking some more I learned she was also in her third trimester with twins from this dad when this happened.  She could deliver any day.  She said to me, "When you think your situation is bad, remember this and you will feel better."  She was in my situation, plus more, times more.  
I was so sad for this boy.  The mom was so brave and so kind.  She could have been offended by my ignorance, but instead she showed me all the bandages and gear that we have to look forward to.  


This is the part where if someone had written a song titled, "Stop Whining About Not Being to Go to the Beach for a Year You Big Baby," it would start playing now.

I don't feel better.  Now my heart hurts for that boy.  But today I will be grateful that Maximus knows that his mom and dad love him.  Heck, Maximus knows the whole world loves him.

These are Karl's words, in a quick text to family that was waiting anxiously, on how the surgery went:   

Surgery is done.  Still sleeping.  Giving him precedex as a painkiller and to keep him sedated and not moving around for the next few days.

Surgery went well.  Right arm was as expected.  Sheet grafted with no meshing (so no bumpy grafting appearance later).  that required graft from the whole right thigh.  The donor site is more painful than the graft site (like a road burn).  That should heal up in a couple weeks.  The graft is wrapped tight for a few days to make sure it takes.

The left hand (palm) is burned deeper than hoped, all the way through the fatty tissue to the tendons (which werent badly damaged).  To restore the padding in the  palm and fingers, they put on a collagen matrix layer (mostly made from pig collagen).  after a couple weeks they will take another graft and graft over that.  This means those nerves and those in his forearm where there was full thickness burning are pretty much gone.  Physical therapy will help with that.


The most intense part is over and he is doing well.
And my words:
They took all the skin off his cute little thigh all the way up to his hip.  A big giant open wound.  They said it will be more painful than his burn sites.  It looks horrible.  The surgeon said he is a "stoic little fellow."  Karl responded, "He always has been." Right?  Even in surgery they got to know Maximus.  He isn't allowed to move around for a while.  He needs to let the grafts set.  He wakes every once in a while and yells, "Mom!" and I just keep praying that he won't remember that all I could do is stand there and rub his head when he was in so much pain.  I keep telling him, "It's okay."  Stupid habit.  I would hate it if I clearly knew it wasn't okay and someone kept saying that to me over and over.  I know it will be okay.  Totally okay, even.  But he doesn't understand that either.  

Here is a little sweet, after such bitter.  Maximus sleeping just a few weeks ago.  In his crib.  Cuddled with books.  He loved to cuddle with books to go to sleep.  Sometimes lots and lots of books.  His chubby, healthy hands holding his books while he sleeps makes me smile.

And a dessert video.  All he is doing is walking but it is so very Maximus.  Confident, happy, and healthy.  



14 comments:

pamela said...

so glad you are able to update - we think about you all the time, and anxiously await to hear how this sweet boy is doing.

Malea said...

I just had a short burst of ugly cry just now after reading this. Whew...now I feel cathartic. Crazy, emotional time dealing with that and taking in everyone else's horrible stories. Has the doctor made any suggestions for what kind of toys he'd be able to play with? Anything therapeutic? I'd like to send something up, but have absolutely no idea what to start to look for.

Nicole said...

Tears....I am so sad for baby Maximus and for you guys and for the little boy and for that mom. I'm sorry about his cute little thigh. Still praying for you.

steve and jessica said...

We are praying for you. We are glad that the surgery went as well as it did.

jaxandgabsmom said...

I am so glad the surgery went well. My eyes are teary from this post. Lots of prayers coming your way. Love you lots.

jaxandgabsmom said...

I am so glad the surgery went well. My eyes are teary from this post. Lots of prayers coming your way. Love you lots.

Bo Thao-Urabe said...

Thank you for the updates. Dennis and I check in everyday about what we've read and heard. It's selfishly comforting for us to read these posts. So happy to learn that he's through surgery and now all the focus can be on healing.

Adri Ballingham said...

Poor Maximus!!! I am so sorry he has to go through this. My brother had skin graphs all up his arm after he was hit by a drunk driver. Unfortunately, I watched him go through it and it was in no way fun... Painful... Heartbreaking...was what it was like to watch. I couldn't imagine watching one of my kids go through it. But kids handle pain so much better and they heal faster. He will be okay and he has such an amazing mommy to watch over him. Hang in there.

onolua said...

Thank you for writing to give us some update. We appreciate your thoughts and some true feelings. We love you and your family. Little Maximus will be well soon. He is resting and being healed by Heavenly Father. The angels are playing with him and keeping him calm. We pray for him everyday since the time we heard the news. We feel that he is getting better and Heavenly Father assure us he will be running around again. La'akea and Maka'olea, we love you both. we pray that you two will continue to talk to Heavenly Father always. Thank him for the spirit that watches over you all... We will talk to you again... Ke Akua Pu!

Melissa and Lance Atkins said...

Adorable. He is just adorable. And I was going to tell you not to worry about not going to the beach. We haven't gone camping up in Kokee in forever. That's what we will do. No sand or ocean up there. And I LOVE camping in Kokee. Good spots with lots of space to run around and explore and baby Max would love it.

Kelly t said...

Christina and family...
Our thoughts and prayers for healing are sent your way...my words seem so empty and simple, i write and re-write them...i guess i want you to know that through a horrible accident your son has touched lives, lives who don't even know him. your family, the strength, the love, the willingness to let others in, is courageous and loving and inspirational...life's lessons are not easy and you and your family have wrapped your arms around this one...praying for a healthy, reading, running Maximus soon!

jamie parker said...

Thank you for the updates, Christina. Maximus has so much love surrounding him...great parents, great family, friends and many, many praying. Love you.

Emily said...

Oh Christina, you are so brave. All our thoughts and prayers are with you. . . and that adorable little Maximus. You're right - the whole world loves him. . .

Charlotte said...

Christina, I just heard the news today - my heart stopped. My thoughts have not left your side since I processed the news. I came home and came straight to your blog, reading every word, wincing at your pain and tearing up witnessing the warrior strength of your baby boy. Our prayers, thoughts, vibes for strength are sent across the ocean from Waimea Kauai to your side in Salt Lake City. I will continue to follow beautiful Maximus's journey of healing via your blog. And personally I believe a Mama's fierce love can bring a little one through anything. Much love, Charlotte Casey

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